[Calhoun's] research offers women ways to look at but not devalue their own experiences; she addresses the fact that women often minimize their own struggles instead of recognizing how their lack of sleep, along with other physical and mental pressures, constitute legitimate crises in their own right ... Calhoun’s latest will be useful for those interested in feminist theory, especially insofar as it intersects with age and class, as well as a useful resource for people struggling to find balance in their personal and professional lives.

... grew out of an article for O Magazine that went viral, so perhaps it’s facile to say that it reads like a book that grew out of an article ... The results of this format are mixed. Some statistics feel cherry-picked or just hard to prove, and at times, as in the chapter on perimenopause, being Gen X, being female and being middle-aged seem to get conflated. By contrast, the economic and labor statistics are both convincing and sobering ... Calhoun’s essential premise is highly persuasive. I know a lot of women with seemingly enviable professional and personal lives who aren’t happy and secretly worry they’re doing everything wrong ... If at some point the book began exacerbating my own sleeplessness as much as explaining it, there are pleasures to be had in the familiar pop cultural references and the darkly amusing anecdotes ... Ultimately, however, so many women appear that they blur together ... I wished Calhoun had included fewer women’s stories but gone into those stories in greater detail.

The book makes a powerful argument to Gen X women ... Calhoun speaks directly to her own generation, peppering the book with so many specific cultural touchstones, from the Challenger explosion to Koosh balls to the slime-filled TV show 'Double Dare,' that I found reading Why We Can’t Sleep to be a singular experience — driving home her point that Gen X is so often overlooked.

The book makes a powerful argument to Gen X women ... Calhoun speaks directly to her own generation, peppering the book with so many specific cultural touchstones, from the Challenger explosion to Koosh balls to the slime-filled TV show Double Dare, that I found reading Why We Can’t Sleep to be a singular experience—driving home her point that Gen X is so often overlooked.

As a member of this book’s target demographic, I found many of its grumbles reassuringly familiar ... Given my gratitude for when I was born, I’ll admit I found this book a little whiny. This is a terribly loaded term to describe some legitimate complaints made by women, but Ms. Calhoun invites it by overstating her case ... Ms. Calhoun is also not above cherry-picking statistics.

In thoughtful, incisive chapters, Calhoun shares interviews with dozens of women who feel overwhelmed, exhausted or downright terrified. Many of them love their lives--partners, children, careers, friends--while simultaneously worrying they've missed the mark in some vital area, like finances or health. Calhoun steers clear of quick fixes in favor of a candid acknowledgment of the multilayered issues at hand, which is (fittingly) what many Gen X women are longing for: to be heard and seen. She doesn't offer easy solutions, but she does argue for greater self-acceptance, for savoring everyday joys and (when possible) letting oneself off the hook ... For Gen X women and the people who love them, Calhoun's book is a great place to start.

... a sprint through everything — and I mean everything — that is bothering Generation X women ... a remarkably slender and breezy book, given the sheer quantity and variety of existential dread Calhoun has managed to funnel into its pages. If you aren’t having trouble sleeping already, you may start to after you’ve read a few chapters ... The anecdotal evidence Calhoun marshals for widespread Gen X unhappiness is abundant and depressing, if not scientific ... Reading Why We Can’t Sleep is like attending a party where the hostess didn’t want to leave anyone off the list: It’s noisy, crowded and everyone remains a stranger. And they’re all complaining. There are guests whose complaints we would benefit from hearing more about and others who shouldn’t be here at all ... The advice is common-sensical, a little corny and hardly a panacea for the multitude of problems she’s spent the previous 200 pages describing ... But the final chapter is the most accessible and engaging in the book. Calhoun’s ambitious wide-angle shot of Gen X midlife malaise is blurry and overwhelming. Paradoxically, when she zeroes in on a specific woman with a first and last name, a strong voice, and a textured backstory — herself — that larger picture starts to come into focus.

While broad childhood and cultural experiences are more likely shared among Calhoun’s diverse, volunteer cohort, Calhoun’s reporting emphasizes some experiences over others, like parenting and heterosexual partnerships. It is still commendable in its complexity. Calhoun’s wrap-up synthesizes the entire exercise through her own lens and is pat by comparison ... When there are massive gaps between expectations and achievement, and the sources of those gaps touch on almost every major affective factor of adulthood, it’s no wonder middle-aged women feel a loss so large that it seems impossible to pinpoint, and that sleeplessness comes from being unable to close the hole torn inside.

While I think the research in this book is sound, this is not a wonky, definitive examination of social systems from an academic perspective—it’s women’s personal narratives, sprinkled with studies. Calhoun gets around the issue of racism and classism by saying she spoke to women of all stripes from all over the country, and I guess we are supposed to take her word for it, as she doesn’t identify these women by their demographics. But does it matter really? This book is, in its essence, a more fleshed-out version of a really good women’s magazine 'trend piece.' It’s a book that puts our agony in a neat framework ... Calhoun is shining a light on something, but not really offering us a way out of the darkness.

An assured, affable guide, Calhoun balances bleakness with humor and the hope inherent in sharing stories that will make other women feel less alone. She also gives good advice for finding support through midlife hardship. This is a conversation starter (as well as a no-brainer for book groups that count Gen X women among their members) that might get Boomer and Millennial readers curious, too.

Calhoun is far more successful when she focuses on the problems of being a middle-aged American woman than when she attempts to define the nebulous differences between baby boomers, Gen Xers, and millennials and to convince readers that Gen Xers are suffering in ways that those older and younger aren't and won't ... Calhoun is on firmer ground when she discusses the stressors that affect middle-aged women in general ... An occasionally amusing and insightful but scattershot exploration of midlife woes.

... [a] bracing, empowering study ... Calhoun persuasively reassures Gen X women that they can find a way out of their midlife crises by 'facing up to our lives as they really are.' Women of every generation will find much to relate to in this humorous yet pragmatic account.