Patel’s facility with perspective—seamless shifts between male and female voices, between straight and queer relationships—stands out in his debut novel. Each narrator’s commentary credibly reflects personal identity and underscores the novel’s themes, which often circle around the gap between what one longs for and what one possesses ... The key to his deft characterization is Patel’s remarkable facility for dialogue ... Neel Patel’s debut presses readers to consider how the masks that his characters wear—whether to camouflage or broadcast their belonging—influence their capacity for happiness; then, he presents situations in which those masks are dropped or removed ... Tell Me How to Be resides in asking rather than telling, designed to satisfy readers who prioritize questions over answers.

Neel Patel’s gorgeous debut novel flows so seamlessly that you hardly notice you’re reading it; it feels more like you’re simply existing with his characters ... An emotionally layered family saga about cultural identity, first love, grief and the power of second chances, it’s a painful, funny and ultimately redemptive story ... Both Akash and Renu narrate in the second person ... It’s an elegant narrative device that never feels cliched or contrived ... This is a rich story that’s as vivid and surprising as its characters ... Renu is observant, bitingly funny and deeply caring. Akash is morose and impulsive; his pain often feels claustrophobic, while his love of music comes across as buoyant and joyful ... Tell Me How to Be is a contemporary family story that captures all the contradictions and challenges of 21st-century life. It’s a rare treat to watch Renu and Akash navigate such tumultuous change—and come out stronger on the other side.

Tell Me How to Be is a book of full of longing and regret, like the R&B ballads Akash labors to create ... In this soulful, moody novel, Patel shows how Akash and Renu suffer from the impossibility of emotional honesty within their Indian immigrant community in the Midwest, its norms enforced by gossip and social snubs. There's an inherent forgiveness in the two-narrator structure of this novel, recognizing that people who've made life difficult for others are themselves laboring under the burdens of their own thwarted hopes. Patel charts Akash and Renu's quests, separate, but ultimately intertwined, to express the truth, leave bitterness behind, and finally become free.

... a wise, witty and emotionally resonant story ... Written in short but vivid alternating chapters, Patel unpacks the old hurts, simmering resentments and tragic love stories of Akash and Renu ... a glimmering gift of a novel. Patel is an incredibly wise and poignant writer, but also one for whom storytelling seems almost supernaturally easy. Even as he probes deep subjects --- homophobia, racism, betrayal, grief --- he manages to infuse his prose with a lot of tenderness and a surprisingly irreverent sense of humor, adding much-needed levity to his plot while propelling the weighty narrative forward with gusto. The result is refreshingly authentic. Patel’s characters are terrifically relatable, not just a mother and son struggling with grief, but a mother and son who have lied to themselves for too long and now must come clean once and for all. What makes the book so special, though, is how Renu and Akash’s stories mirror, complement and push one another forward, a call-and-response duet that feels incredibly satisfying to read ... Full of complicated characters, messy family relationships, and celebrations of music and culture, Tell Me How to Be is a memorable, vulnerable and deeply moving debut from a writer who makes it all look easy.

Patel gently weaves larger issues of racism and homophobia into Renu and Akash’s emotionally rich first-person narration. A winner for book clubs and those who enjoy a little heartstring pulling.

Resplendent ... Patel skillfully maneuvers through the treacherous territory of abandoned dreams, family squabbles, and cultural clashes before finding a resounding catharsis for mother and son. The result is noteworthy and memorable.

The novel’s power comes from watching a mother and son suffer under such similar burdens while stubbornly refusing to open up to each other. The flaw in Patel’s novel is structural more than anything else. The short chapters (some as few as two pages) alternate between Akash’s and Renu’s narration; they wrestle with such similar burdens, and they’re together for so much of the book, that the quick jumps between them keep the reader from sinking into either of their stories ... Strong characters and a sharp depiction of familial secrets in a novel that feels too compressed.