Although there are books on what to expect during pregnancy, there are few resources that address the major shifts that happen for moms once a family welcomes a new baby ... Though the chapter on birth stories perhaps overly dwells on natural birth, many parents are likely to find themselves reflected in Millwood’s writing. To Have and to Hold will be valuable for new parents and their families alike and will provide reassuring validation for common yet rarely discussed challenges. Beyond that, Millwood’s exploration of gender dynamics in relationships and her willingness to look at taboo emotions make this relatable for nonparents as well.
Miller's resonant message is that everyone should acknowledge all facets of motherhood, including the negative. Mothers-to-be and parents of babies and young children may find it reassuring that it's typical to feel conflicted and even angry owing to the upheaval and transformation of their lives.
There are countless books on the physical and emotional fluctuations women experience as they go through pregnancy, but far fewer delve into how those same transformations affect a woman long after the birth of her child ... Mothers who are struggling to accept their new role have a definite advocate in Millwood ... Informative, entertaining, and enlightening research and personal reflections on the multifaceted ways children change a person forever.
A compassionate book that affirms that emotional difficulties for new mothers are not anomalous but universal and can extend well past the immediate postpartum period, with profound effects on their relationships with their spouses ... despite Millwood’s supportive tone, she still puts most of the onus on women, suggesting that they improve their social networks, let dads take on childcare chores even when they are bad at them, and remain open to criticism from their husbands. Despite this potential hurdle for some readers, Millwood performs a helpful task in giving mothers permission to acknowledge motherhood’s darker side, and in offering them help with their marriages as well as their parenting.
