The same wit and chatty style of the podcast infuse the book. A hybrid of memoir, cultural criticism and advice, Big Friendship describes experiences that are common in deep friendships but rarely acknowledged ... dappled with novel terms and concepts for common tensions in friendships. The terms would have been useful for Friedman and Sow to have had when their friendship was sputtering ... What most distinguishes this book from other recent writing on friendship is Friedman and Sow’s keen analysis of how politics figures into the practice of friendship ... friendship is a 'real-deal insurance policy' ... Big Friendship is the guide we need to make that investment.

In this thoughtful and highly readable story of their decade-long friendship, punctuated with the relevant social science, we learn about the crisis that sent them to therapy together ... While the book is likely to interest people of every age and friendship stage, its examination of race makes it especially timely ... I do wish they had told us more about the rest of their lives. We learn little about other important relationships ... With this book, Sow and Friedman remind us that laziness in tending to friendships is dangerous, and that regardless of the circumstance, whether geography or pandemic, friendships must be nourished, or they will wither.

I did something I'd never done before while reading Big Friendship: I snapped pictures of entire pages and sent them to friends ... I'm thrilled to report that their philosophy on friendship is as insightful, hilarious, and moving as I'd hoped ... It's impossible to read those snippets from their description without thinking of the people in your life who fit the bill, just as it's impossible to read the book without seeing pieces of your own relationships reflected in those described ... Big Friendship is written, strikingly, in one voice, a conversational one, and whenever they diverge into their own perspectives, the point of view shifts to 'Aminatou' or 'Ann.' That makes the reading experience itself a brand-new one, and powerful ... More than anything, though, they've given friendship a complicated, wonderful love story that will sit with you.

... a cozy, earnest read, written in the breezy tones of the early feminist internet ... a heartfelt reminder of interpersonal pleasures ... a book that feels both intimate and removed, with its moments of clarity partially clouded by a labored attempt to strike a balance between baring it all and preserving the appearance of an exemplary bond between two supercool people. The first-person passages, having been written by committee, have the slight gloss of an agreed-upon public statement from two people who experienced each beat of the friendship differently. The third-person parts are more revealing, especially those that include both authors’ divergent interpretations of a single event, illustrating a communication breakdown or a chasm where latent resentment can take root ... A chapter on interracial friendships offers a particularly vital consideration of the way Black people like Sow must accept, as a condition of their friendships with white people like Friedman, that those friends will almost certainly end up disappointing them in some racialized way ... But even when Sow and Friedman write in their own voices about their own lives, they maintain a palpable distance from their readers by narrating their lives as a third-person storybook. As a result, some passages feel oversentimentalized... while others are deliberately opaque ... Big Friendship provides some moments of honesty that feel genuinely radical and refreshing ... And yet, Big Friendship is unfailingly warm ... Writing with the crystalline hindsight of friends who learned the hard way, Sow and Friedman reveal the hidden origins of the schisms they paid good money for a therapist to help them heal. After reading this book, their readers might not have to.

Big Friendship’s very existence hinges in part on its authors’ status as ideal friends, and the book gives readers a lot to aspire—and relate—to ... But what makes Big Friendship interesting is Sow’s and Friedman’s willingness to disrupt this idea of effortless, ideal friendship ... This period of tension in Sow’s and Friedman’s relationship forms the emotional core of Big Friendship, but the book disrupts the ways we have come to conceive and communicate connectedness in other ways, too.

It’s not surprising that Sow and Friedman chose to narrate the work in one voice, using we and us. Although the decision requires differentiation in first names that results in some awkward phrasing, the linguistic choice is one way the couple signals their entwinement. Regardless, their unified voice feels authentic. Long-time listeners of the podcast will recognize their banter and conversational quips about the merits of denim skirts, Midwest divas' dip-making expertise, and about how they’ve 'steamrolled each other to success' by way of Shine Theory, a phrase they’ve coined about supporting each other without envy or jealousy ... the pair hasn't divulged any practical tips. Sow and Friedman's true intervention is that they provide a cogent argument for cultivating Big Friendship and establishing such relationships in the first place ... Ultimately, Big Friendship is a neccessary disruption to teh widely held believe that one person, often a sexual partner, can and should satisfy every need. It rejects the understanding that intimate friendships are auxiliary but still unneccessary, and through their example, offers a glimpse at the support and meaning to be derived from robust companionship. Sow and Friedman provide a powerful argument for expanding our affections and help us to imagine a new reality.

...frank and vulnerable ... This is an instructive, humbling, and reassuring guidebook to Big Friendship in all its hard work and outsize glory; through both tears and laughter, readers will see themselves in it, and be glad.

...a chatty exploration of the benefits and challenges of female friendship ... Though they put their own relationship front and center, the authors incorporate research from social scientists and anecdotes from other people’s lives. Readers whose own 'big friendships' aren’t as inextricable as Sow and Friedman’s may balk at their insistence on, say, coordinating outfits ... this entertaining outing shows young women how they can empower and sustain each other.

A rich exploration of friendship by the talented women behind the Call Your Girlfriend podcast ... Having honed a relationship they compare to the one between Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King, the authors are well equipped to deliver honest and helpful advice to anyone struggling to maintain a healthy union over time and distance. A soul-searching reflection that delivers an emotional journey to amplify the self-help tips.