RaveThe New York Times Book ReviewBrammer’s voice will be familiar to fans of his column. He is both kind and piercingly funny, often in the same sentence. He slips in and out of queer slang without pause; he is just as sure-footed in contemplating the awkwardness of gay sex as he is in describing his family in Oklahoma. Brammer’s tone lends levity to the weighty subjects he extrapolates upon ... Brammer has been honing his sharp-witted persona for years online, but here, in book form, unbound from the constraints of a column or character limit, his queer advice is more personal and affecting. His voice is intentional, considered and more intimate than ever, but he does not lose the directness and clarity he’s spent so long cultivating ... isn’t really a book of collected advice columns; it’s a memoir through essays, and he uses the form to mine the depths of his own experience. With that comes a vulnerability never clearer than in the first and last chapters ... The book as a whole works through Brammer’s genuine discomfort with being looked to for sincere advice ... a master class of tone and tenderness, as Brammer balances self-compassion with humor. Throughout, Brammer bridges his identities and his sensibilities; he is at once the self-deprecating Papi and the kind sage John Paul. He leaves his beloved reader with the solace that, by practicing kindness in our reflections, we can find lessons for ourselves and teach others to do the same.
