PositiveTIMEVanasco begins the book with meandering discussions of memory and writing as she describes her search for the man she hasn’t spoken to in 14 years. But the tension accelerates and the structure tightens when she finds \'Mark,\' and he agrees to several recorded conversations ... At times, Vanasco downplays her pain and the depth of her trauma to Mark, aware of yet unable to correct what she calls \'gender performing.\' Those moments can make for frustrating reading. But they provide a vital examination of a kind of reflexive niceness, familiar to many women, which can create a feeling of safety by deflecting conflict, while also inhibiting accountability and growth ... What Vanasco’s memoir lacks in research-oriented context, it makes up for in honesty. She has created a reckoning with injustice told in real time, with all the hesitations and concerns of a wounded heart. She provides few answers but compels readers to ask as we all move forward: How many abusers would act if they knew they’d be called to account, not only legally, but also morally?
